Browse Professor Quotes

You guys are supposed to be technology majors, no wonder the Japanese are kicking our asses
—Professor Capaldi, Mathematics I, MATH1010
Those pilots got so drunk at the open bar during the airline party that they could care less as to whether or not the plane crashed
—Prof. DeSessa when referring to the annual airline party
Why would I listen to a girl who rides horses for a living?
—Professor Higgins, Accounting II, quoting a student making fun of an equine girl.
I would think that masturbation is also a sin for them, but it dosen't mean that they don't do it.
—Prof. Judy Truchetta, on Shakers, Sociology 1
Starbucks has made coffee, not JUST coffee . . . it's an EXPERIENCE. (said with grinch-like eyes)
—Professor Erin Wilkinson, Principles of Marketing
Something funny!
—Professor Calabrese, Datastructures: After we all flunked the midterm- "I need you guys to get to that point where you have an epiphany and you start learning again".
You are all my children. I'll give you a hug when you need it, and I'll give you a kick in the ass when you need it.
—Chef Andreozzi, Day 1 of Frosh Meatcutting
Here's my idea of heaven: It's a beach with cigarettes and Elvis.
—Dr. Jackson, General Psychology
There is nobody below me, I'll do anything for money!
—Professor Calabrese
Hit me, punch me, kick me or kiss me. But damnit, don't ever ignore me!
—Dr. D Psych2001 on behaviorism
Eat your heart, bitch
—Prof. Boker, Destination Geography I.-He said it to a student in class
Student asks, Is that in the book
Alves response, No I made it up
—Microeconimcs Prof Alves
When you are single, you can hit in any direction you want. But if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can only hit in one direction.
—Prof. Singh...talking about the fact that you need at least 2 points to create a line. WIth one point, there can be multiple lines.
We're going to talk about S-E-T's today. Sets. But I spelled it out for you so your young minds wouldn't think I said S-E-X. Sex. My advice to you is to have as much S-E-X as you can, but do it responsibily, and you'll be all S-E-T.
—Prof. Singh...the first day of class.
Pasta Meatballs......WOWWWWWWW
—Dr. Alves....Randomly says it everyday
I need you guys to get to the point where you have an epiphany and start learning again, cuz this just won't cut it
—Professor Calabrese, Datastructures- we all flunked the midterm.
Something funny!
—Professor Calabrese, Datastructures: After we all flunked the midterm.
When the weather outside is frightful, Accounting is simply delightful!!
—Professor Helen Davis; Accounting I
While going through attendance list the third day of the winter tri: I finally say her friggin' name right, and she's not even here.
—Professor Goudreau, MG1001, Principles of Management
...I know you all got a black box to keep all this crap in.
—Professor Goudreau, MG1001, referring to CMS Module (Black & Blue Boxes issued to freshmen)
Keep in mind this is Coke the beverage...OR we could use Coke and Pot [for the demand curve graphs], but we don't want to do that.
—Professor Christopher, Honors Economics
Point X to C [referring to production possibilities curve]
—Professor Christopher, Honors Economics
Here come the three stooges. [as three students arrive 20 minutes late at 8:20AM for the first day of the winter tri]
—Professor Picarelli, Business Accounting I, AC1021
We're slipping now... I've lost the bubble.
—Prof Allen Kruger, IB 1001 Intro to Global Buisness after rambling (and wasting our time) a whole period on trapping skunks in his back yard.
I heard Johnson & Wales is raising their admission standards next year
—Prof Morris
how goez it?
—Professor Kruger, IB1001
Second shot of VODKA better than first!
—Professor Krackovf
Oh Lord, What a bunch of little sluts!
—Dr. Novak: EN1H20- On Sex bracelets being used by middle school students.
Cows are not known for coming home on their own.
—Rich Gann, IS2020, on why his students should not wait til last minute on the final project.
When I was in college, I dated this girl whose parents hated me.... Everytime I'd call, her father would throw the phone in the trash!
—Professor Calabrese, 12/12/02, Client/Server
I stay up late at night thinking about how to get back at people who have screwed me over
—Dr. Jim Brosnan, Honors Program
Hm, my USB drive has been acting up. I shouldn't have stirred that pudding with it.
—Professor Marks, CGRA1000 Visual Design
Did you know that every Thanksgiving your mother tries to kill you?
—Professor Samel: Intro to Foods
My husband wants me to let you know, that if you're ever in trouble don't hesitate to come to one of us. But, there is NO ROOM at the inn, so don't think you're moving in to my house.
—Prof. Judy Turchetta, Sociology 2
Lubrication is the key to success
—Professor F.T. Faria Foods One On knife sharpening
That sounds like my wife
—Professor Lindberg Sociology. To the sound of a truck backing up in the street
Its like wetting your pants..you get a warm feeling but it doesn't last
—Chef Bob
I know that one comment I made, left this room and ended up on http://dailyjolt.com
—Prof. Turchetta, Soc 2
Pick a font for each of these cars and type the name of the cars under the shoe. Then, Print it out.
—Elizabeth Marks, Visual Design, talking about 2 projects at once is a bad idea
I am not talking at you, I am entertaining you...
—Professor Moussavi (Hospitality Strategic Marketing), while half of his 11:30 class is asleep
I'm on two antibiotics and i have triplefocals so it makes me a bit edgy
—Professor Murra (food sanitation)
It's not due until a week from tommorow, so don't work on it in class or I will kill you with my pen.
—Professor Elizabeth Marks. Visual Design on Student Mask Project.
ok well here's a question, Does anyone know a four letter word for intercourse?..... no swearing...... ok its TALK yes talking is intercourse and hey you don't even need protection.
—Professor Dermanelian - Hospitality Accounting I - context: from out of nowhere
I like to scare kids and make them cry.
—Dr. Viveiros, IB2040: International Culture and Protocol
What! do you have white klan sheets in your closet at home?
—Prof. Driscoll, Criminal Justice refering to a comment made by a student of him class in the fall of 1999.
Now we're gonna add all sorts of yahoos and doo dads (followed by gasp, wimper laugh)
—Professor Benoit
Hey, sounds like my wife backing up. (Upon hearing a truck beeping in reverse on Chestnut Street)
—Professor Ken Lindberg, Sociology 1
That sh*t's not gonna flush
—Professor Lindberg, something about the social caste system (Sociology)
I Like Pee My self when it snows!!!!
—Marks (Rodwell) Visual Design
Learning [Adobe] Illustrator is like the 10 stages of grieving. First comes denial and then finally, acceptance.
—Professor Rodwell, CG1001, Visual Design
I am not saying dont smoke... Just bake brownies
—Professor Maccaruso, Professinal Speaking
You dont have to pay attention, but please stop talking.
—Professor Gann, Advanced Multimedia
A tree fell on me once. The doctor I saw, told me that I'll never be Mr. Universe.
—Professor Alves, Microeconomics
During a web design evaluation:
So where did you get those picutres? ..... I hope not http://dontstealmyimages.com .
—E Santos, IS2025
He's like Moses. I picture him commanding lightning bolts, and throwing them.
—Professor Zammarelli discussing a man who looked like santa claus
109
—Professor Alves
You are throwing spit balls at a battleship!
—Professor Oscar Chilabato, School of Creative Marketing
me - focused - That's how Tarzan tells us that he is focused....
—Prof. Briggs - Projects in E-commerce
As managers, you should say: one plus one is anything I want it to be!
—Professor Ragsdale Hospitality Accounting 1
When I was a freshman, I never had clean sheets.
—Professor Carson, Principles of Marketing
A lot of people don't pay funeral directors. They get stiffed.
—Dr. Viveiros, IB2002
On the second line insert a small intestine..... er...
—Professor Briggs - Multimedia Applications
Yeah, that is a good spy name, zah-vaah....I can't even pronounce it, so it is a good spy name.
—Professor Zammarelli, Help Desk Technology
God Damn Bustards... Cant Do it, Cant Do it, Cant Do it.
—Professor Ragsdale Hosp. Accounting 1
You have a brain, you can talk, you can speak, you have it all, but can you TH-ink?
—Dr. Alves, microeconomics
Sometime around midnight my eyes flip shut, only to have that damn alarm clock go off minutes later at 6:45am.
—Prof. Judy Truchetta, on Humans as Creatures of Habit, Sociology 1
Here's our man!
—Prof. Novak, as the only guy in our class walks in late!
It's beautiful to look beautiful, but its even more beautiful to THINK
—Professor Alves, Macroeconomics
Try to name the color something specific, so that when you save it you know what it is, not something vague like 'my butt'.
—Professor Rodwell, Desktop Publishing
I had a friend once, WOW that's pretty sad that i only had a friend ONCE!
—Professor Alves, Economics
One-O-NINE!!!
—Professor Alves
In-bond industry. Like Bond. James Bond.
—Dr. Viveiros, IB 2002
Ya know, I'm 1/2 swedish and 1/2 scottish, which explains why I drink so much AND why I'm so damn good looking.
—Prof. Ken Lindberg, Sociology I
You people don't even KNOW what it is to be drunk on vodka! Someday you'll know.
—Dr. David Mitchell Senior Management Seminar
Eww, Professor Lindburg's got a little gas today...that's a little more information than you needed to know.
—Professor Lindburg, Sociology Professor: To his 5th period Sociology class after passing gas
Bass Ackwards
—Professor Guenther Dermanelian, Hospitality Accounting II
We want happy piping bags... If that bad could, it would smile!
—Chef Lavornia - Teaching how to make a proper piping bag in Introduction to Cakes
Looks like we have a few good looking guys in this class.....
—Chef Welling
I work on my butt....I like to work on my butt.
—Professor Gann, talking to the 10 o'clock Digital Imaging class
See that little box? Let it speak to you.
—Professor Day, TS1000
The Bonus is DONENESS!
—Professor Norwood; EN1021 Advance Composition
After Scott goes we'll do drugs for the rest of the class.
—Dr. Dias, Soical Issues in Contemporary America (talking about the project topics)
im going to hoodwink you
—prof. marks period 4 visual design
Rhode Island actually has the second or third highest average age. Many old people live and don't die in Rhode Island.
—Dr. Boker, Dynamics of Tourism
Students....Students....there is a class in the other room...please give them your courtesy
—Professor Kamin Business Accounting II
Earth to class!
—Professor Kamin Accounting
Prof. Brown: Ok everyone. Who got a lot of gifts for Christmas? (many raise hands) Wow most of you! Ok then, work with me here, this desk is mine, put anything you don't want, and keep in mind that I like expensive gifts!

Student: Will it effect our grade?

Prof. Brown: HELL NO!
—Prof. Bob Brown - Organizational Behavior
All of you look tired, did you alllll stay up and watch the supid I mean the Superbowel, but then again it is Mondayyyyyyy!
—Professor Daniel Vivieros, Seminar of the European Union, the Monday after the Superbowel.
See you at the beach.
—Professor Benoit, Introduction to Programming: At the end of every class.
After watching CNN for 30 min. you feel like going to the bathroom and slitting your wrist.
—Dr. Jackson
Stay out of trouble this weekend, this is the prime time for students to ruin their whole year.
—Bachman
The white sticky stuff, or the blue sticky stuff, which is better? We'll be dividing up the room and debating... Sounds Fair.
—Rich Gann, Web Site Design on the topic of Poster Tack
It's Like AM Radio with pictures!!
—Santos-IS2025 "talking about Public Access"
Suck a Nut
—Professor Marks (rodwell) in her Web Design Concepts Class
Hey did you hear they closed the Swedish Campus, that means your credits are no good here.
—Professor Lizotte, while talking to a swedish student. Business Accounting II
If Your like Me, I'm A Rabid Dork!!
—Prof. Marks (Rodwell) Visual Deisgn
Freshman year of high school, I would have two Bayer aspirins and a Coke for a quick rush. That's when it still had Cocaine in it of course.
—Professor Boisvert on the Coca-Cola brand
Don't smoke crack, smoke dope
—Professor Anthony, Foundations in Leadership
So I ran out of my shampoo this morning and I asked my wife what I should do? She said to use hers, so I reached and grabbed hers only now my hair is greasy. What in the world do women use in their hair?
—Professor Lindberg; Political Science
Woohoo, I'm here, I'm so happy I'm gonna wet my pants.
—Dr. Viveiros, IB2040

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